bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
