Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
