What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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