I'm going to jail i love you
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
