The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
