WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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