why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
