that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
