He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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