I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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