You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
