He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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