if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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