the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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