You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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