Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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