I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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