you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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