I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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