Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
