I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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