I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
