gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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