She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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