u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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