I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
