before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
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I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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