Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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