When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
