Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize