this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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