Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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