he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
only if we run a train.
done.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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