I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
