Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
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well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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