By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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