i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
