i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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