It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
