i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
