and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize