allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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