Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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