We won't sleep together?
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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