Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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