butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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