he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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