I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
