If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
