bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
