oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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