2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
