You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
