Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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