Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
