jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize