So gin and wine won't be happening again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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